How to Support Emotional Development in Early Childhood (For Worried Mums who Want to do Well)
Learning how to support emotional development in early childhood is absolutely key to helping your child reach their potential as an emotionally aware, intelligent person.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that apart from our physical health, emotional health is a MAJOR second-in-line for a healthy, happy life - and we want to support our children to have that from as early as possible.
If you are a mama who wants to be everything your child needs, but are feeling confused and stressed about how to get started, don’t worry! We’re going to be covering:
When to get started on this with your child
How to get started (don’t worry, it’s not overwhelming!)
What you can implement to continue supporting your child as they grow.
As a first-time parent, it can be super overwhelming to know how to support emotional development in early childhood. It’s the same as learning how to feed, manage routines, and so on. It’s just as important. But how, when, and what do you even do to get started?
How to Support Emotional Development in Early Childhood (For Worried Mums who Want to Do Well)
Firstly, welcome to my blog! I am an Australian emotional health coach and parent consultant - and teacher, too! I share information for Christian women (and anyone) around slow motherhood, building your wellbeing, and tips on how to build family connection and your child’s emotional wellbeing, too. You can find out more about what I do here on my About page, or the Emotional Health bookings page. Thanks for reading, and I pray you walk away with something practical to help you find peace and joy in your family.
As a first-time parent, it can be super overwhelming to know how to support emotional development in early childhood. It’s the same as learning how to feed, manage routines, and so on. It’s just as important. But how, when, and what do you even do to get started?
When to get started on this with your child
Firstly, it’s important to remember to cut yourself a mental break - because you have probably already started. Cuddling your baby, giving them love, feeding, changing, and playing with them, and creating a space where they feel safe (that you are going to be with them when they need you, or actually with them most of the time when they are tiny if you can), means that you are giving your child the beautiful start in life that you desperately want to give them. Well done!
Therefore, the answer to this first question is actually answered already! Look after your child’s emotional wellbeing from the very start by doing those things that you need to do for a baby anyway.
Also, for those mums who feel like none of this comes easy, please don’t forget that while kids can pick up on your mood and how you are feeling to a point, if your baby has you with them and satisfying their physical and love needs as much as possible, you are doing so well. It’s not about perfection, it’s about doing the best we can. Because that’s all we can ask of anyone, Mama! Do what you can.
How to get started (as they get bigger)
I’m betting, though, that the reason you searched for this post is because your child is already past the tiny-baby stage. I’m guessing, maybe wrongly, that you searched for how to support emotional development in early childhood because you are now the proud parent of a child who is starting to show some big emotions that you feel like you can’t control anymore.
(Am I right? That’s usually when parents contact me or ask what to do in my gentle parenting coach capacity.)
You hear that this is normal, that kids have big feelings, and so on. But you may be seeing a plethora of mums around you, in mothers’ groups, Playgroup, kinder, daycare, and even in family situations, who go about managing their child’s feelings in all different ways.
This, is so confusing - and, if you are prone to anxiety you may already be worrying about what you are going to do when your child does that (like little Freddy did last week at Playgroup), or you may have been totally embarrassed because your child is little Freddy and everyone else was watching you scramble to parent a huge tantrum in front of the whole group - and you felt totally unequipped.
You have to know, firstly, that if this is the case, you are so not alone.
Pretty much every mama I have ever heard of has had this experience - and if not, they’re dealing with it at home because their child holds it in. (Not sure that option is better, either, let me tell you!)
2 Must-Do’s on How to Support Emotional Development in Early Childhood - for your 2 year old
Firstly, be present. Do not leave your child alone to deal with their emotions, especially at this very young age! As a mama of three myself, I am regularly giving out ‘I’m here’ hugs for overstimulated and upset kids, or helping them learn how to regulate - mine are between the ages of 5 and 11 years old. This is one of the reasons I am all for being a present mama, and practicing slow motherhood as much as I can.
Give your child a Calm Space to help them learn how to manage their big feelings. This means they have somewhere they can go (again, often with you, especially at the start when they are little.) This means having a corner of the room you are usually in, not their bedroom, set up with certain types of toys and textures, in order to help your child become more present, themselves, and reduce their emotional load, teaching them to calm down. How to set up a Calm Space - and why it’s so important - is outlined here in my Calm Space Class, which shares my insight from teaching, parenting and more on how these can help you help your child.
When your child is feeling angry, which is the big explosive emotion, they may fall on the floor and start yelling, etc. It’s important to hug them if they want to, but as anger involves a fight or flight stress response, which involves a type of adrenalin, using action is often a major way I help my kids process. Trampolines, racing each other around, jumping on the spot, dancing to a fast song, even punching a pillow is another way if that’s the only thing that works. (I personally don’t like to teach that a violent reaction like punching is a good choice when angry. However this is sometimes a good option and works best for the child - and teens may like a punching bag. I know I did.)
What you can implement to continue supporting your child as they grow
As your child grows, it is often more of the same. Be present, and continue giving them strategies to keep processing and managing their emotions. However, a huge part of this involves recognizing that emotion for what it is, and how it looks - and for parents to understand how their child is feeling, too. I find this can be really hard for us as parents, especially because we have adult brains, full of what we need to do for dinner, noticing a stain on our child’s knees when they’ve thrown themselves to the ground, and often we are sleep-deprived and trying to manage all the things.
Your child isn’t trying to manage all those same things, but it’s important that we understand what they are trying to navigate. If you want to find out more, my simple ecourse The Emotionally Equipped Child covers a lot for parents of kids up to age 6. It’s helpful and simple for parents to navigate, with a 30 minute parent info session for each module, and a 10 minute parent/child activity designed specifically to help you with building your child’s emotional regulation skills - especially recognizing those emotions as they rise up in the body. It’s available as a self-paced course here on Udemy - find out more here!
I hope this has helped you find out more about how to support emotional development in early childhood, and given you some really practical strategies and ideas - but there is something else to mention here.
If you are discovering that you feel ill-equipped to deal with big emotions yourself - in other words, you are shutting them down, feeling bad for feeling things, or exploding in anger when your child does things out of your own control - you might have learned unhelpful habits on managing or understanding your own emotions when you were younger yourself. Also, your child is copying things from you - and I know from experience that it is both embarrassing and shocking when your child deals with their emotion in the same inappropriate, unhealthy way you have demonstrated in the past! *awkward
It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, but having some touchy ‘trigger points’ which are unresolved, especially if this is coupled with anxiety around whether your child will experience the same hard experiences as you did; can mean that you can end up saying and doing things you don’t intend to - often with a giant dose of mum guilt as the result. If this is the case, and you want to work on this, let’s chat. Click on the Emotional Health Bookings page here, and find out what I offer in terms of helping parents. I work with Christian women, but also with anyone who wants to join me in this area, too.
Here’s to you being the mama you always dreamed - and helping your child with how to support emotional development in early childhood - and also, enjoying life as much as possible at the same time!
Need a new peaceful, joyful and educational podcast?
The Mum Wellbeing Podcast is a simple, value-packed podcast for mums who want all the things. Now with guest experts, pop in those earbuds and have a listen!
Rediscover your Emotional Health with a faith-based approach - and finally be the calmer Mama you want to be
With my 1:1 Zoom clients, I:
Ask questions, (lots of them) and every.single.client.so.far has had ‘Aha’ moments through the sounding-board effect of coaching with me,
Go through emotional embodiment practices to help you actually feel and process the emotions that are ‘stuck’ or that you keep trying to escape from (when you are ready, always)
Offer strategies around parenting (I have been coaching parents for over 5 years, and bring my teaching professional expertise to this)
If requested, bring prayer and Christian-based faith principles to the conversation, including helping you rebuild or seek that ‘sweet spot’ in your relationship with God.
Don’t ignore your emotional wellbeing, overwhelm and the huge stress that can occur in body and mind for you as you navigate parenting. We can all do with a little help sometimes.
As a first-time parent, it can be super overwhelming to know how to support emotional development in early childhood. It’s the same as learning how to feed, manage routines, and so on. It’s just as important. But how, when, and what do you even do to get started?
