how to be kind to yourself
Do you know how to be kind to yourself?
I recently read an article a friend shared, called ‘The Future of Leadership is Kindness’, at https://bluenotes.anz.com/posts/2022/03/anz-news-leadership-kindness-culture-business
This prompted me to write this blog on how to be kind to yourself as you lead yourself and others around you.
As I share, teach and speak on the topic of wellbeing as both a parenting coach AND a women’s wellbeing coach, I am regularly talking to what I call ‘small-scale leaders’.
These are those women (or men) who are regularly in charge of leading some others - and most notably, themselves - in their everyday life. For instance, being a parent involves not only leading others, but ourselves. Being an educator is the same, and with small business women too.
The thing is, kindness can never be overrated.
The power of kindness is PHENOMENAL, both when aimed at yourself and when experienced by and with others.
In this post, I’m exploring more about kindness and how you can start to extend that kindness to yourself.
Kindness is a HUGE indicator of wellbeing.
As someone working with small-scale leaders (educators, small biz women, parents) on their well-being, this has to be literally the #1 indicator of well-being in a space.
If the leader is kind, they create a much greater sense of psychological safety & often better team mentality.
It creates the potential for an open door policy.
Most importantly, as I have regularly shared in my work with parents, showing kindness in someone’s hour of need (or an emotional moment) is an action that will be remembered for a long time, and often have a profound effect on the person who received your kindness.
It’s simple really. If we need comfort and someone shows that comfort, even in a small way, it creates a connection between us.
So why do I need to be kind to myself?
It stands to reason that your own inner child, your own emotional self, needs that kind of comfort too. That’s OK, right?
But many of us are often unkind to ourselves, never being satisfied with what we are doing, or how we look, or what we say.
Often we are judging ourselves for every.single.move. we make!
So how can be kind to ourselves?
Firstly, give yourself a mental high five. Get thankful, build gratitude for how your body and ‘self’ have carried you this far, for this long.
Because while you may feel like you’ve been through a lot, your body and soul was there the whole time, right? Having self-compassion really goes a long way here.
Secondly, work on becoming more self-aware, of both your past and what’s going on for you now.
Most people are carrying WAY more baggage than they need to, but don’t have clear goals for their own wellbeing. Working on understanding where you come from and where you are going, is a hugely fulfilling process.
This can be self-discovery alone, talking to friends, or a life coach like myself. It doesn’t have to be scary, although it can be at certain moments. One thing is for certain, you will learn things about yourself that you never connected before.
Thirdly, get ready to address yourself better, when you fail.
I mean it. Failure is a part of life, and those who don’t accept that, are crazy.
We don’t need to ‘refuse to accept failure’, but prepare our reactions to failure (and be kind to ourselves) when it does happen.
Will you have a growth mindset when something doesn’t work, and be prepared to use that failure as a stepping stone? Or will you be so bummed it didn’t work that you just want to run away from the shame, the sinking feeling and the way you felt like you let everybody down?
We all have failures, and they aren’t fun. Sometimes, it can take awhile to get out of our disappointment, and that’s OK.
But it shouldn’t mean you start negative talking yourself. Think about how you would talk to a person you lead or mentor. Would you say those things when they failed?
It’s the same.
Learning how to be kind to yourself is a huge part of becoming more self-aware, and building your own wellbeing.
So, how do you want to go about it?
Do you find it hard to be kind to yourself?
If you want to start working on your own self-awareness, understanding your values & working on wellbeing strategies to STOP that whirlpool of self-overwhelm, fear and confusion, let’s chat. Book a call here!
