sensory overload in kids - and why overstimulation is not always your friend
Have you seen the effects of sensory overload in your children?
Overstimulation and your child's development can a double-edged sword - we want them to have fun, yet too much stimulation can result in sensory overload, increased impulsive behaviour and a range of symptoms - potentially leading to emotional health problems.
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This post will cover some reasons why overstimulation - especially to the point of sensory overload - is something to be very aware of in your baby and children, and what you can be aware of, and practically do, as a gentle parent.
Sensory overload in kids is often a result of overstimulation - which can be avoided sometimes through helping your with these simple sensory overload strategies. #sensoryoverload #childemotionalregulation #emotionalkids
Just before we get started, hi! I’m Miranda, the emotional health coach & gentle parenting consultant behind Peaceful Living with Miranda. I’m also a mama of 3 and an experienced teacher! If you are feeling overwhelmed with kids or life, find out more about my services on the Emotional Health Bookings page, here. I hope this post gives you some real insight!
No-one wants to experience sensory overload. And neither do our kids.
We need stimulation to live- no-one thrives with literally no stimulation. But a healthy balance is a good way to go-everything in moderation. The same is true for our children - they need to feel both stimulated and entertained, but also need to be able to do these things themselves, too.
When my eldest was a toddler, I was heavily involved in entertaining her, until one day I was so tired and unable to be excited for helping her feel entertained. This meant I needed to learn how to let her be bored, but happy. Entertained - but not always by me.
Small children are already learning and understanding a lot - which can lead to sensory overload, too.
Toddlers and preschoolers are finding out what lives here, who will say what next, and how they can interact with others, and what mum and dad expect from them. Add to that the plethora of sounds that you might hear everyday, as well as the visual stimulation most kids are exposed to (let’s not even start on the stimulation that screen time can create, or screen addiction) - and we almost have sensory overload already!
It’s a well known fact that babies can easily become overstimulated.
This can create a recipe for a crying, unsettled and confused baby who just can’t seem to go to sleep-or stay asleep-after a big family event. You might think ‘Why is this so hard now? We left the event hours ago!’
But, kids are like us adults, holding emotion in their system. Crying is a great way to get it out - except from the mum’s point of view!
Young children are only a bit older than babies-and while they are more practiced at being stimulated to a certain level, parents still need to be aware of how much their own child can take.
Many people even think their primary-school aged child is fine with late nights, or constantly being moved from one event to another-when in reality many kids are overstimulated and ‘overworked’ (is ‘over-played’ a word?) from a young age. It’s simple. Giving your kids more ‘time’ to just exist in their own space, or leisurely go to the beach or library, does wonders for their own sense of calm and peace - instead of being trained to be part of this overworked overstimulated world of adults who are just waiting for their own moment to relax…then burning out because they don’t know how to.
(Sound familiar? Yep. We want to give our kids the strategies we did not have!)
Just a little disclaimer here, too - it’s important that we remember that as kids get older, they need more stimulation, and it’s healthy for kids to play sport, music, and so on. But overcommitting doesn’t really help a child, or indeed an adult, with their life satisfaction - and that’s speaking from long, hard experience of my own.
Sensory overload can happen even when you are rested overall - but if your kids are already full up with the mental and emotional load of life, it can occur much more frequently and quickly.
So how does less stimulation help your child’s development, and reduce sensory overload?
First of all, a feeling of boredom is something we all lived through when we were kids, right? We all felt like we needed a little more stimulation at some point.
But the kids of today often have little time to play with the toys they own, let alone time to get bored with them.
Children need time to play alone, with a single friend, at home or the library or the park, because this means their brains can learn to function in a less-stimulated space.
The ‘time’ part is actually the key. It’s about not being pushed to be on time, learn in a time frame, then play in a certain way, etc, just to fit what the adults want.
They need space, time without schedule and instruction, to let their creativity and brain flourish through having to find it’s own play.
Children who spend more time without scheduled activities are much more likely to be more creative, and better at occupying themselves.
They can think up creative solutions to manage that sensory overload and feel more at peace with themselves.
This is because they had to.
Some parents feel they need to give their child all the experiences under the sun-and while this is well-meant, this is not necessarily the best thing for a child.
It’s wonderful to have experiences and yes, the kids learn things as they have experiences. (This is not to say ‘don’t give your child experiences’!)
Rather, give them experiences sometimes, and give them space to be bored so their brains can rest and get creative!
Think of how nice it is for us as parents to have nothing we have to do for awhile.
Now imagine how your small child might feel, given the chance to be at home, unashamedly playing (more often) with their toys, drawing, or just being in the garden with you. Imagine how your child might be able to be entertained more peacefully at home or the park with a friend, instead of going to Timezone, then a cafe, then football training… you get the picture. Give them some time to exist as a simple being.
This type of stimulation is very different. It’s more natural, more grounded, and more healthy overall.
It requires the ability to slow down, to appreciate, to see what is already around us and do something with that.
In the words of Brene Brown:
‘we should all do our kids a huge favor right now and let them experience boredom.’
Letting our kids experience boredom means letting them have space to learn how they ARE.
Three more things to try for minimising sensory overload:
When there are loud noises around, especially for an extended length of time (more than 2-3 minutes), give your child a set of earmuffs of noise-cancelling headphones. This works a treat for ADHD kids too, especially if they experience misophonia.
Give your child plenty of physical sensory input. This is where sensory blankets can come in, or sensory swings, or even just malleable play like playdough or plasticine.
If your child likes this, give them time with music. It’s the connector to every soul in some way!
Make sure your child has enough down time with creativity, and little expectations on them.
Your child will need To learn and work on understanding how their brains work when they don’t have anything required of them.
Your child will go through a process of being frustrated (I call it ‘stimulation withdrawal’) and will be ‘bored’ initially.
They WILL get over it.
For us parents, the temptation is to give them something to do to. So, give them a few ideas.
Play with them a little, then let them know gently that playing and thinking up games is their job-and they are really good at it. (I mean, Bandit from Bluey really does actually know what he’s talking about!)
Let them know you are around and supportive-and celebrate them when they do come up with something!
They will get better at it!
Then they will be better placed to see the joyful things around them.
To hear the birds singing, the dog’s tail wagging.
To process what has actually happened recently-and all the emotions, learning and understandings that happened because of that.
To become more centred and calm.
They will be able to manage their own sensory overload, with some help from you, going forward.
And they and their brain, will be glad you helped them get there.
How does your child cope with being bored?
Or do you need to make some changes so they get that rare opportunity to learn how to slow down?
Other posts you might find interesting:
How Mum Guilt & Social Media Can Stop You Living Your Best Life - And What To Do About It
3 Mum Hacks To Help You Save Money At Christmas (or any time)
About me
Hi! I’m a teacher-turned stress management/emotional wellbeing coach, for mums both Christian and not; who are finding life overwhelming and stressful. I use emotional processing and basic somatic techniques with my clients, as well as uncovers deeper beliefs, expectations and habits that you may be unaware of - and the influence they are having on you subconsciously.
I am also an author, mum of 3 and my God-given mission in life is to see women set free from stress and mental overload. If you feel overwhelmed, or are sick and tired of feeling that horrible guilt you carry around in your chest for ‘not doing everything well enough’, grab your 30% off call here as a new client!
