How to Start your Healing journey for Emotional Health - when you don’t want to be an angry mum anymore
Have you come to breaking point? Are you just so tired of yelling at the kids, having to say sorry, then feeling so incredibly guilty about your behaviour - and worried that it might be affecting your children’s development or outlook on life?
Find out how to start your healing journey in this post, with some practical tips and tricks, as well as recommendations for things you can do immediately (like, now) to really make a difference for yourself.
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How to Start your Healing journey - click to find out how to stop being an angry mum and start healing! Especially those managing emotional exhaustion in women. Gentle Parenting and Christian mum blog sharing positive affirmations and mental health tips for women. #emotionallyexhausted #howtostartyourhealingjourney #emotionalhealing #gentleparenting #christianwomen
How to Start your Healing journey for Emotional Health - when you don’t want to be an angry mum anymore
If you are someone who has reached that point and you want to heal, congratulations! It’s a huge deal - however, once you come to that space, it can be overwhelming.
Emotional health has a huge role in how we feel more peace and joy in life, so when we realise we aren’t feeling these very often, we can feel really bereft, and like the heavy emotions are bigger and harder to see past - while the lighter ones are smaller and hard to enjoy or focus on. Let’s jump into the things you can do to get started in your emotional health healing journey.
Having that realisation is the first step.
The good news is, the first step in starting your healing journey has already been taken! Even by reading this blog, you are acknowledging your own need change, your own need to feel different than how you are feeling right now. You have already, I assume, come up against moments in your life which have made you stop and think ‘Wow, I really need to deal with that. I don’t want to yell at my kids so much, anymore.’
These sudden self-awareness moments are challenging, often quite mind-blowing, but when you start to really feel uncomfortable, it could be one of those ‘growth edges’ where you suddenly start to grow into a new version of yourself in this area. Keep going!
Look for patterns.
One of the very first things I do when I start with a emotional health coaching client (and consistently through their sessions, but in different areas), is to start asking them for patterns. When do you find yourself yelling at the kids? What time of day, when did you last eat, what were they doing - what is raising your stress levels so much at a particular time, or in a particular situation, that is causing you to start losing control?
(It’s the same when pinpointing children’s bad habits or emotional meltdowns. We work out why by asking when and how often.
Think about your own reasons for doing things.
You might want to start asking yourself on a deeper level, Why do I feel the need to do things this particular way?
We all have reasons for doing things a certain way. Many of these are due to habit - whether good or bad - and many of these are simply because that’s how our parents, or a role model, did things.
For instance, I fold my towels in half short-ways, then half longways, then fold three times. Most people seem to fold them in half, half and half - but I fold mine like that simply because our linen cupboard in our farmhouse as a kid would only fit towels in when they were folded that way. It’s so simple - but it’s worth working out where some of the habits you have, come from initially. We aren’t born folding towels a certain way!
Start carving out time for your own mental space.
We all know what it’s like, being a mum - especially a gentle parenting-type mum in the 21st century. There is so much mental noise, that it’s often extremely hard to get anything actually thought through to the finish of the thought!
Organising our own and our kids’ often very busy lives, means we are orchestrating different events, pick-up and drop-off times, not to mention thinking about dinner, work, remembering all the to-do lists we have going on - and if you’re a blogger like me, creating blogs for you all, love it though - and, overall, answering questions from all of our children at once!
It’s enough to send us around the bend, sometimes! A counter-cultural, super impacting idea is to stop the mental stress and start creating a time each week, day, etc - when you can just be. Nothing to ‘do’, a notebook to write things down in for the first 5 minutes (I suggest 10-15 in total) and letting it all stream out of your head, to be left with the sometimes-uncomfortable but delicious silence which our mind so craves.
learn how to feel those pent-up feelings.
It’s crucial that we learn how to do this. Too much of this ‘stiff upper lip’ has resulted in absolute emotional trauma and people feeling guilty - yes, guilty and embarrassed - to actually be seen feeling their own feelings.
Many people also don’t know what to physically do when those feelings come up - simply because we are worried about how we will be perceived, that we will lose control, or that we are looking silly.
The simple truth is that you can feel a feeling and move slowly. Or jog on the spot. Or clench and unclench your fists inside your coat pockets. Or sing to yourself (I do this all the time, and have done for years without realising God had provided me with a simple, amazingly effective vagus nerve stimulating activity that has shifted trauma and clogged-up emotions time after time!!!
Get some regular support for your Emotional health.
While this might make you think of your mum coming over to fold your washing so you can have a break; in this instance I mean something more like mental support. Go out with a friend once a month for coffee, or even join a group like my Finding Peace Membership, which offers group coaching once per month, monthly training session on parenting strategies and women’s health, and lots of extra support, including 30% off individual sessions - permanently (while you’re in the membership).
The focus here is on the two words - regular; and support.
You want to choose someone wise, someone who is not struggling themselves at the moment in this area, and someone who is not just going to ‘blurgh’ their life’s problems all over you - and leave you feeling like you need to learn how to start your healing journey even more - just from their issues! When we are talking to someone to increase our emotional health, it’s important that they can actually be there to support you!
Pray, if it’s your thing.
For my Christian mamas - this is where I add regular prayer, and time with our amazing God. If you are wondering how to start your healing journey - God knows exactly what is going on, why, and your history. If you’re blaming Him for something, then out with it. Let Him know - He is big enough to hear your emotional outbursts, then help you get started on the healing - that really only He can do.
These will help you, help your child when they need it.
All of these things will help you start to feel emotionally refreshed, over time; and in turn this will help you have more emotional ‘space’ and availability for your own children and their emotional needs, which we all know takes some doing - especially if you’re a mother of multiple children! If you want to know more about what your emotional child needs from you, see the blogs-to-read list below!
If you’re wondering how to get started on your healing journey, these steps will help you do just that - get started.
We all know, especially if we have had overwhelm, anxiety, fatigue or depression in the past, that emotional health and emotional healing is so crucial to feel more peace and joy in our lives - and to be able to be emotionally available for our children, too. I go through many of these steps in my clients’ coaching sessions, and this has helped many of them immensely.
Please, if you need to talk to someone about your mental health, do so. Don’t suffer in silence. Book your local GP, a coach, counsellor - or just start talking to someone you trust!
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About me
Hi! I’m a teacher-turned stress management/emotional wellbeing coach, for mums both Christian and not; who are finding life overwhelming and stressful. I use emotional processing and basic somatic techniques with my clients, as well as uncovers deeper beliefs, expectations and habits that you may be unaware of - and the influence they are having on you subconsciously.
I am also an author, mum of 3 and my God-given mission in life is to see women set free from stress and mental overload. If you feel overwhelmed, or are sick and tired of feeling that horrible guilt you carry around in your chest for ‘not doing everything well enough’, grab your 30% off call here as a new client!
