Teaching your Toddler to Share
5 Things to Remember when Teaching your Toddler to Share
You would not be alone as a parent if your child struggles to share, especially at a young age. It is a huge learning curve for children, and a big developmental moment, too.
If you want some strategies on teaching your toddler to share, read on to get my top tips on what and how to go about it!
Teaching sharing is hard because small children do not havethe concept of sharing.
Small children are egocentric, meaning they perceive themselves (ego means 'self') as central (centric).
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Within the context of learning to share, this universal toddler and preschooler worldview or perception means this:
- Most children are possessive of their toys at this stage!
- They can find it hard to develop empathy (seeing situations from another's point of view)
- Many toddlers are still learning that the best way to receive a toy from another is NOT necessarily by throwing a tantrum
So how can we go about teaching our toddlers to share?
Check out the Deal of the Week here!
(And make it easy on them?)
Here are 5 things to keep in mind when you are teaching small children to share.
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1: Sharing is something that takes TIME to learn.
Firstly, you must understand that your child is a child.
It is very unlikely that they will learn to share the first time you talk to them about it.
In fact, it's quite normal and healthy for children to struggle with sharing for a time.
A way to avoid only learning this complex skill in public is to try practising.
Yes.
Practice taking turns with your toddler yourself when they aren’t threatened. ‘You first, then my turn.’
You, as the parent, get to play the ideal sharer and show your child how the other child should behave. Including manners, etc.
(Children learn the responses shown to them.)
So it's helpful if sometimes those responses are shown by you!
Learning with you means they see what a good sharer might do in those tricky situations.
2: Teaching your toddler to share also requires explicit (super clear) TEACHING.
Discuss and prepare for the visitors etc as much as possible.
‘Will you want to share this toy with your friends, or should we pop it away for later on when it’s just you?’
3: Yelling at your child doesn't help.
DON’T force your child to share something that is precious to them.
IE ‘You do not have to share your special cuddly toy. But we might pop him away so no one else gets him. Let’s give him a hug.’
Use positive reinforcement to encourage sharing.
4: Remind them of how it's nice when we do share.
Talk about the emotions and how your child is feeling.
‘Wow, this is SO lovely sharing a tea party together with our friends!’
‘Your face is telling me you feel sad about sharing your toys with your friends. Is that true?’
Talk about the 'good' emotions just as much as the hard emotions.
Your child will not always be happy about sharing, nor will she only have happy experiences with others learning to share.
These things are worth having a quick chat about when you can!
5: Model good sharing yourself.
Your child is always watching you.
More than he knows.
So are you showing your child how to be a good sharer?
Are you generous with your time and belongings-or do you hold tight to them?
Do you set appropriate boundaries around items that are yours, but still show the ability to help others through using your own resources?
You have the option to use your own language and actions towards and in front of your child, to demonstrate what an Ideal Sharer does.
Teaching your Toddler to Share is something that takes time.
They need compassion and understanding from you as the parent.
Watch your child for anything they struggle with, and help them learn to move calmly through those moments-and it will gradually get easier for both you and your child.
