when you’re overwhelmed as a mum: 3 simple tips to relieving the load
When you’re overwhelmed as a mum, it can feel like you are trying to push a car to the moon.
It feels draining, pointless (at times) because no-one else gets it; and that the expectations on us are insanely huge.
Overwhelm doesn’t just come from one direction, but from many. It can cause stress headaches, tension in relationships, snappiness and emotional explosions towards our family…followed by a heaping of guilt on our shoulders.
This article will share what to start working on not feeling so overwhelmed as a mum, and how you can go about it! But first…
…something you need to know before reading this article.
Our expectations are everything when it comes to being a mum (or a person!). If we are expecting too much of ourselves, we will potentially sabotage how well we manage how well we manage being overwhelmed as a mum.
And this often requires some serious deep-diving into ourselves, our thinking, potentially our childhood experiences, and our goals and intentions for our family - and how we want to act and feel, from this point on in our motherhood journey.
As you read this, keep this in mind - these strategies are able to really help you with your overwhelm - but if you choose to have expectations that are too high, they may not have the effect you want - until you do.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means when you click on something the author may receive a small commission, at no cost to you. Thanks for your support!
When you’re overwhelmed as a mum: 3 Strategies for Relieving the Load
1: Stop, and acknowledge you are doing the best you can.
It’s OK to be not on top of it. Literally, as they say, it’s OK not to be OK.
We don’t have to be perfect. That’s a myth anyway - just a very deeply ingrained one in our society.
Find a mirror, look at yourself and say ‘You ARE doing the best you can. You are a great mum, strong, caring and capable. You are the mum your children need.’
If you feel overwhelmed, chances are you feel unappreciated as well. Take a moment to write down ALL the things you do, regularly. Like, everything (include the dishes, too!) Give yourself credit where it’s due - mums have a lot going on, and the reason we quite often are overwhelmed as a mum is due to the fact that our brains aren’t taking notice of the success we are already experiencing.
Give yourself a pat on the back - especially if no one else is doing it for you.
Tip 2 for when you’re overwhelmed as a mum:
Delegate.
Sing it with me (to the tune of Baby Shark)… DEL-E-GATE, do do de do de doo…
Delegating means giving other people responsibility for some tasks; in this case it may be housework, cooking meals, or even making sure the grocery shopping gets done.
According to Additudemag.com, ‘Delegating requires executive functions like planning, crystal-clear communication, and realistic goal-setting’, which means that it can take awhile to perfect. However, spend a bit of intentional time on this, and you will be so thankful you did!
Sharing the load with others who can DO these things (whether partners, children or outside professionals such as cleaners) means that you can play the role of a good manager and team leader, helping others work together to get the job done.
Find out here how household chores are essential for you to teach your children - and which ones they can do!
The best bosses, leaders and managers all know how to build a team and manage that team - not micromanage. If you feel that the ‘team’ effort is not working to your expectations, don’t forget to challenge yourself to maybe lower them a fraction while others are learning. At the end of the day, the house will still be clean if a child misses a few spots as they learn. Also, the underwear will still be wearable if it’s washed and not folded well first time, and so on.
Delegation might feel like you are giving yourself more work - but actually, plan 2 jobs out for each other member in your household and just focus on them for a few weeks. It will help more than you know!
**If you are feeling overwhelmed and the mental load is too much, head over to Amazon & check out my book ‘4 Steps to Reduce Mental Load and find Peace in God’ - and do just that. **
3: Brainstorm, categorise and plan ahead.
One major way I have been able to help my clients through being overwhelmed as a mum is through my 1:1 coaching, and involves being intentional about writing down everything they need to do, in an exhaustive list.
While you may feel this is anxiety-inducing in itself, this is one thing that can really help when you’re overwhelmed as a mum.
Firstly, brainstorming means literally getting a piece of paper or a computer word-processor like Word or Onenote. It has to be simple, and has to be able to take alllll your thoughts, however scattered they may be.
Secondly, add some ‘time’. Write down whatever you can, then make some time and space to think of more things to add to it - because I can guarantee you will! Give yourself a whole day or two to get it all out, if you like - then move onto the next step.
Categorise. Grab a highlighter and underline the things that are in the same category - children’s needs, medical, household, career, or finances. It’s so helpful!
Plan ahead - Look at a big ‘thing’ you need to be prepared for (these often give us anxiety or stress in the weeks leading up to them), and figure out some small steps to plan for the successful follow-through on the big event. Then, schedule one for each week - or even two - so that the lead-up is helping you with the stress at that time. This leads to less overwhelm, less stress and less emotional stress; resulting in us feeling less mum guilt for not having as much mental space for our little ones.
When you’re overwhelmed as a mum, getting ‘on top of everything’ can seem impossible.
Use these tips to help yourself - only don’t leave it until you are already overwhelmed, to start implementing them!
If you feel overwhelmed as a mum…I am an experienced teacher, speaker, and a stress & emotions coach for mums. (I know what it’s like to be where you are, right now!) I can help you manage your overwhelm and deal with your deep-seated guilt and emotional ‘mess’ that you feel like inside. It’s OK, Mama - I’ve got you! Head to my Bookings page here to find out how I can help you feel like you’ve got your feet on the ground, and feeling like you can be the caring, capable & emotionally stable ‘rock’ your kids need you to be as they grow.
Other Spaces To Click On And Go Now:
‘The Roots of Shame and why it’s holding you Back’ on The Mum Wellbeing Podcast
3 Limiting Beliefs every Mum needs to Know About
Go shopping right now here on Amazon to grab anything you need!
Sick of feeling like you are carrying all of the things, struggling with your emotional health and getting angry at the kids?
Miranda is a teacher-turned stress management/emotional wellbeing coach, for mums both Christian and not; who are finding life overwhelming and stressful. She uses emotional processing and basic somatic techniques with her clients, as well as uncovers deeper beliefs, expectations and habits that you may be unaware of - and the influence they are having on you subconsciously.
Miranda also authors wellbeing books such as Stop Mum Guilt and fantasy novels, as well as creates physical journals and printable products for women. If you feel overwhelmed, or are sick and tired of feeling that horrible guilt you carry around in your chest for ‘not doing everything well enough’, grab your 30% off call here as a new client!
If You Want To Find Out About My Online Consultancy, Here’s What I Do:
Help Mums find freedom from emotional stress and overwhelm (both Christian mums and non-Christian too)
Ask questions, (lots of them) and every.single.client.so.far has had ‘Aha’ moments through the sounding-board effect of coaching with me,
Go through emotional embodiment practices to help you actually feel and process the emotions that are ‘stuck’ or that you keep trying to escape from (when you are ready, always)
Offer strategies around parenting (I have been coaching parents for over 5 years, and bring my teaching professional expertise to this)
I do this all via my Zoom consults, soon to be in-person consults offered too in the Geelong, Australia, area - but online to most places!
So don’t be stuck in your head, because whether or not it’s myself, there are people out there who can help you with your emotion, overwhelm and giant stress that can occur in body and mind when you have a baby and/or kids.
