Why Teaching a Child independence starts in Toddlerhood
Amidst the hurricane of having a toddler, the fact that they are still so immature in so many things. But now is the time for starting to take those baby steps towards teaching your child independence.
This post is going to cover some reasons WHY this is so, so important and the follow-on effect of making the effort here and now.
Remember when you first received your car licence? How excited you were that you could drive all by yourself-that you weren’t relying on anyone else anymore?
Or how it felt when you worked hard at something but just couldn’t get it to work-then one day youfinally did? The satisfaction that you felt, the pride in yourself?
That’s what our toddlers feel like when they achieve a new skill.
They have NEVER achieved these things before. Each step theytake, each activity they try involves new learning, new failures and eventuallynew skills.
True independence is defined as ' "not dependent", or not having to depend on anyone or anything else.'
To me, independence means being strong and able to look after yourself, and look OUT for yourself. This is an essential part of growing a child to thrive, not survive.
So why do we need to teach our child independence?
-They cannot thrive in our world without some sort of independence
-A major part of being a child is to learn independence so you can grow to become a functional adult
-Independent kids are more resilient, happy, willing to try new things and much more
But why start when they're so small?
Simply put, the earlier you teach your child independence, the more they can learn. It's great for their sense of achievement and their success.
As I'm fond of saying, toddlerhood is the end of babyhood and the start of childhood.
1: The earlier your child feels independent, the better off he is!
As a teacher, mama and coach, there is one very important basic premise of learning anything, for anyone.
This is that much like building a house, you must have the first foundation before you can build the second.
In child terms, if Bob the builder tries to build a skyscraper, he has to put the bricks on the ground first!
With our kids, if we can get that foundation started as they are ready to receive this information and start working on skills and understandings, we are doing not only ourselves, but them, a huge leap forward.
2: It teaches our kids to naturally be independent and responsible for oneself.
If we want our kids to grow up to be responsible, independent and really strive, we need to start somewhere.
The problem is that many parents leave the start way too late!
This has the flow-on effect of meaning the child can become entitled, but really takes away those prime learning moments for the child when they're a toddler.
If we teach our kids when they're small to help alongside us, we teach them that 'This is what people do'.
If we don't teach them how to join in from a young age, we can miss the opportunity and inadvertently teach our child that 'that's a Mama job' and 'this is something I don't have to learn how to do'.
Now, I am the first to say play is very important-in fact of the utmost importance for children and parents!
But I'm not talking about huge chores, or taking away our kids' childhood fun or time to play.
We are in charge of teaching our child about their place in the world. They will need to know all this, and it's easier for them if we help them learn how to be independent and responsible -and proud of themselves- in a natural way as they become able to.
3: Others are teaching their child independence.
As a teacher, it was SO obvious to me in my classroom which children were expected to do even simple things, themselves. Some children expected me to get their chairs down, pack up after them, and organise everything for them. Others, however, could do all these things themselves-because their parents had taught them how and then expected them to do so.
Do you want your child to be able to confidently keep up with the rest?
I’m talking generally, not academically. Do you want to give them the self-confidence to calmly move amongst their peers, knowing how to pack their bag and what to do with themselves in different situations?
Teaching your toddler independence starts NOW, in toddlerhood.
Those who don’t start now will be trying to catch up later!
That’s why you need to be starting to teach physical and mental independence to your toddler. See here for a list of how you might do this!
To conclude, teaching your child independence is SUCH an important part of being a parent. You may want to have 'your baby' for a little longer, or help them by doing things for them.
A small child needs all the love, care, hugs, play, and fun that you can provide for them, for sure. I spoke on the importance of play in the international Play for Peace Conference recently, and the importance of play is always shown to be a major one for children.
However, while a child needs to learn to play, they also need to learn how to pick up after themselves, take their plate to the sink, and be part of this thing called humanity without being a drain on others.
Teaching your child independence is easiest and most natural if we start early, around 2, and helps the child exponentially.
How do YOU teach your child independence? Do you feel confident that you are doing so?
I'd love to hear any questions or stories you have about your toddler and parenting! Add them below or email me at smartmamasmartkids@gmail.com!