Helping your Child Start School Well
Starting school is a huge milestone both for kids and parents. We all want to see our child start school well, feel comfortable, enjoy their first day, and come home happy.
The reality is, however, that this may not be the case. Our child may feel alone or a little scared (which is normal, by the way) and we want to do everything we can to address this so they can easily move over that as they start school.
This post will give you some handy strategies on starting school well with your small child-and hopefully ease your mind as a new parent of a school child, too!
Starting school from the view of your child
If you think about school from your child's point of view, they are probably feeling all the emotions:
- Excited (because who wouldn't be, they've heard about school since they can remember)
- Nervous (because it's a big change, and I need to leave Mum when I may not be used to that)
- Interested (what will this even be like?)
- Scared (I am being pushed out into the big new world! Help!)
- Anger (I will NOT go!)
Many kids start throwing some different behavioural challenges at their parents during the 6 months of leadup to starting school, and many continue this after they start too, for different reasons. Find out more about this here!
Starting school from the view of a parent
We are excited about our child starting school, right?
We can't wait to see them thrive, make friends and basically be the coolest kid in the school-or most academic, most interested, or best at building that robotic car they make in Grade 4.
Obviously.
But, you also might be feeling a little bit of trepidation as you prepare for sending your child off to school for the first time.
What will you do if they cling onto you and scream?
How will you manage without them beside you all the day, asking you questions to the point of distraction?
What if your special needs child just can't cope?
What if your little one gets teased?
Will the teacher know to help them open their yoghurt so it doesn't spill?
What will you do when they get home and can't remember what they even did?
(For all seasoned school mamas, you know what I mean, right? #facepalm)
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Mama, let me assure you that whatever happens, you and your child (and the school) have got this.
Most schools are patient, understanding, caring and everything a small child needs to gently get comfortable and ready to learn and play.
Many Prep/first grade/Foundation students find it hard the first few days, even the first few weeks.
Teachers understand this, and allow for it. It's totally normal.
(Yes, I am a trained and experienced teacher. We do actually understand. Each child is different-and that's OK.)
So how can I help my child start school for the first time?
We can understand why there is a lot going on for our child. So how can we help this process go a little more smoothly for them?
1: We can listen to them without pressure, and act accordingly.
Try opening up some calm relaxing discussion space with your child before or after they start school (a couple of days in is a great time).
Set up a time, or ask them when, and do a puzzle or paint a picture together. This is often a great way to start finding out how they are feeling, because they are focusing on something else but can peacefully chat.
This is when the relationship building and connection you have built before they start school really starts paying off.
Say something that doesn't put the interrogation upon your child, like 'Tell me what school was like' rather than 'tell me everything about your day'.
If you want to keep that connection over school starting -or build it before- jump into a Strategy Session with me here!
Our kids might not want to talk. But they might want to, as well.
It's very important to keep that connection going. If something they don't like has happened (and it will, sometime) you are able to be gently aware of it without being over the top.
2: Try some different strategies to remind them how close you really are-without actually being there!
Something I've found that worked really well with my child was creating a physical and emotional connection that they can access at any time of day, when they are at school.
When my daughter was struggling with leaving me, we had a 'stay up night' and created 2 identical friendship bracelets together. She wore one, and so did I.
Why did this help?
This helped SO much, simply because:
- We did it together in the first place
- It was physically there, on her wrist or her bag
- She was able to see it
- She knew the emotional connection was true between us
- She also knew I would have mine on too, and would remember her.
If you choose to do this with your child, you need to make sure you talk about the fact that you will be looking at your bracelet through the day and be thinking of your child, wondering what they're doing and being excited to see them that night.
Don't forget to stress how wonderful it will be that you will both have that 'link' and special thing to help you be connected even when you're apart.
Helping your child start school well is of real importance, because it can mean their attitude to learning is influenced for the positive, too!
How do you feel about your small child starting school?
If you are worried about the connection between you and your child as they start school, feel free to join me in the 14 Days to a Calmer Kid Challenge! The February Challenge starts just after the start of school, and the 14 days of connection activities and emotional management strategies might just be the extra help and challenge you want at this significant time!