How to Teach your small child to Respect you
Learning how to teach your small child to respect you can be a challenge for all parents.
Having respect is defined as having ‘due regard for the feelings, wishes or rights of others’.
It may be nice to read, but in reality this can be very hard to implement in a home. Read on to find out how you can teach your small child to respect you by using these three positive, connection-based principles to help move you towards your goal for a respectful relationship between you and your child!
Want to teach your child to respect you using positive parenting strategies? Children need love and respect to build respect for their parents-and more. #parenting #preschool #boundaries #positiveparenting
So what do we actually mean by 'respect'?
Firstly, a huge welcome from me - I’m Miranda, and Peaceful Living with Miranda is my business and blog. I’m a mum of 3 kiddos, experienced teacher, women’s emotional health coach and gentle parenting consultant,and Christian women’s mentor. As well as coaching and blogging on gentle parenting & anything that helps you as a mum with stress relief & emotional healing, I create digital products and write books that help women with their own emotional health and with parenting their children - because the two go hand in hand. Find out more about what I offer on my Emotional Health Bookings page here.
Having respect for others means a child:
Is considerate of others and their belongings
Can often empathise with others when someone else disrespects them
The behaviour this leads to involves practical actions such as
Asking before using someone else’s belonging
Listening to parents and teachers advice andinstruction
Waiting their turn
Looking after their own belongings
A child who displays these more respectful behaviours usually:
are well received by their peers, teachers and anyone they meet;
they learn more effectively because they are respectful enough to LISTEN when their teacher or parent is talking, and
they demonstrate a more mature, caring and kind attitude towards others.
(Who wouldn’t want THAT on their child’s report once they go to school?)
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So how can you go about teaching your small child to respect you?
(Just a quick note-parents need to be intentional with regards to this. If you aren’t actually committed to teaching respect (or anything else) it just isn’t going to happen. It takes commitment - but the benefits are incomparable.)
Kids learn through consistent input and intentionality on the part of parents.
As a parent we need a long-range view of this, too-it doesn’t happen overnight, but does happen!
1: Treat your child with respect.
This might sound like a super-obvious one, but it is EASY to see which parents respect their child-and not hard to see what the child thinks of a parent, either.
If you respect your child (and this doesn’t mean treat them like the centre of the universe) it is obvious.
You make allowance for them, you prioritise listening to them (not allllll the ramblings, but you make a point of listening when they have something to say) and you make a visible effort to go the extra mile for your child.
Let them finish the episode of TV they’re watching, don’t constantly hurry them, let them dream and create when they can. Just cut them a break sometimes! This type of respect is all about being conscious that your child needs to build independence and also needs you to ENABLE them to do so without just ‘dropping them’.
2: Build CONNECTION with your child.
I talk about this constantly. Building connection isliterally a main ingredient in working with or raising children-and inrelationships in general, by the way.
Connection is all about spending quality time and actual contact with your child.
Try to see how they understand the world, ask them questions, do puzzles or play footy together, make up games, play together, lay in their bed and listen to them ramble about the day, and just make sure they know that you are there for them.
Connection is the BASIS for parenting.
If you do not have connection, you can’t do number 3 on this list as effectively, until you get connected and feel like you understand your child.
Building connection with your child requires a consistency about your everyday routines and rhythms, and above all INTENTIONALITY with regards to how you spend your time with your children.
3: Keep yourboundaries.
First off, I struggle with this one too. It’s hardsometimes, right?
But, I am always amazed by how many parents just don’t stay consistent with their boundaries.
This is SO important.
Think about what could happen if your child doesn’t learn that 'No means no'.
They are literally just hearing ‘No, but if you ask again it might be yes’, or ‘No, but if you keep pestering me you will wear me down and you can have it.’
What?
Are you reading that, thinking ‘Why on EARTH would I ASK my child to annoy and pester me and continually ask me something I’ve already said No to? Annoying much?'
Let me say this straight.
If you don’t stay consistent and clear with boundaries, and follow through, this is exactly what you are doing.
So how does keeping your boundaries teach your small child to respect you?
Respect is given when we know someone keeps their word (whether in consequence or in a good way) and when we see that they are doing something unselfish.
Kids are allowed to hear WHY they are being faced with a boundary. They can be told ‘No, that’s not happening today because I need your clothes to stay clean for school drop off.’
Or ‘I don’t want you to have another lolly because you have had enough today.’ And even the ‘You can’t have that new toy because we just don’t have enough money this week. Maybe you can put it on your Christmas list.’
Boundaries are needed for healthy guidelines in life.
Those who have clear guidelines KNOW where they are going.
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Healthy boundaries are necessary to help us get there.
It's the same for our kids.
If you just let your child walk all over you, it’s SO unhealthy for his social, emotional and intellectual development in so many ways.
So to conclude, the ways you can start to teach your smallchild to respect you involve:
1: Treat your child with respect.
2: Build connection with your child on a consistent basis
3: Keep your boundaries clear and stand up for what you believe with your child.
Respect is all about learning to be considerate, a good team player and someone who can interact well with other people.
If we don’t teach our children to respect us, they could be in for a lifetime of others not respecting them-or their input, however valuable it might be.
So do your child a favour and do whatever it takes to helphim become a respectful and caring individual!
What do you do to teach your child respect?
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Want to read some more posts about parenting, Christian motherhood or emotional health?
How You Might Be Beating Yourself Up As A Millennial Christian Mother - And How To Stop Yourself!
If You Want To Find Out About What I Do To Help You Build Emotional Health and Gentle Parenting skills….
Help Mums find freedom from emotional stress and overwhelm
Ask questions, (lots of them) and every.single.client.so.far has had ‘Aha’ moments through the sounding-board effect of coaching with me,
Go through emotional embodiment practices to help you actually feel and process the emotions that are ‘stuck’ or that you keep trying to escape from (when you are ready, always)
Offer strategies around parenting (I have been coaching parents for over 5 years, and bring my teaching professional expertise to this)
I do this all via my Zoom consults, soon to be in-person consults offered too in the Geelong, Australia, area - but online to most places!
So don’t be stuck, because whether or not it’s myself, there are people out there who can help you with your emotional wellbeing, overwhelm and the huge stress that can occur in body and mind when you have a new baby and/or kids and all the other things we deal with as Mamas!
Want to teach your child to respect you using positive parenting strategies? Children need love and respect to build respect for their parents-and more. #parenting #preschool #boundaries #positiveparenting